these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
