I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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