everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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