His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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