Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
