Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
