i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
