He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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