I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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