So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
