she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
