I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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