dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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