BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
