I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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