Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
