I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
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You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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