I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
