i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanna passion pit in your ass
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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