I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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