I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
