I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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