I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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