So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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