its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.