Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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