...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
