You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
