you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
