Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
