i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
