I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
