Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
