Pappa wants mamma naked
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
