Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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