So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
