Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
