I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
