He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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