if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why is half of my head shaved?
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