DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
