So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
