Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
