I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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