Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize