I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
PANTIES FOUND
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize