whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
