It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
