The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
