the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
