i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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