Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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