I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
