Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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