You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
