I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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