your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
