Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
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Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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