He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
