so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
