shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
