I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
