accomplished twins. life is a go
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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