Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
