I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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