there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
