1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
